Alvin and the Golems
by indira1221
Summary: Lady Diamond and her group planned a raid on Pyrus but Alvin the Dragonslayer decided to try and killsteal.


**Disclaimer **This story is based on a mobile game called Celtic Heroes. Somes names are taken from the game itself and is not owned by the author of this story.

* * *

"Cranshaw!" shouted a female warrior while she briskly walked thru the corridors of Solitaire Keep, her wings fluttering behind her back. "Cranshaw!"

"Woke up from the wrong side of the bed, my lady?" drawled a silky voice from the shadows.

"Quit that! I've been looking forever for you," she frowned.

"How may I be of service?" He slowly walked forward, the daggers strapped at his legs shining a deadly light.

"I'll need your skills for what lies ahead, rogue. Our scouts reported a Pyrus sighting! We have to move fast before Alvin the DragonSlayer takes it into his head to make Pyrus his pet." Lady Diamond walked towards the War Room. "Gather what warriors and healers we have. We move out in an hour."

"Aye, my lady."

'Man, why does Lady wear a gown to fight Pyrus?' Cranshaw thought to himself as he went out to find Indira and Abigail.

* * *

Two warriors wearing black cloaks tiptoed closer to the camp situated near Lava Lake. From a distance they can hear the small group of Solitaire people planning on killing Pyrus.

"What are they saying?" whispered Alvin the DragonSlayer.

"I can't hear well," replied Conan the Barbarian. "Let's move closer."

CRUNCH!

"Sheesh! Hide hide!" Quickly, they dropped down to the ashy ground.

* * *

"Did you hear something?" Abigail enquired softly.

"I'll go check," Cranshaw took out his daggers and moved towards the edge of the camp.  
A golem ambled from behind a big rock. Cranshaw went into action and stabbed the poor rock to death. Abigail jumped up from her position and released a powerful healing spell on the rogue.

"That was fast. But you got hurt badly. Get more vitality Cran," Abigail admonished.

"Bite me," he retorted.

Indira snickered in the background. "Don't encourage him Indi. It's hard enough to keep Shaw alive when we do raids. Rogues with low vitality only make it harder for us healers."

"Sorry Abi." Indira stood up and sidled to the disgruntled rogue.

'Pssst! Cran!" Indira whispered.

"What?"

She handed him a bottle of green liquid. "I got this elixir from the witch at the village. She said it can make you strong and give more hit points for a few minutes."

Looking at her suspiciously, "You're not trying to poison me, are you?"

"Boooo!" Indi stomped back to her tent.

Cran opened the bottle and sniffed the contents. "Hmm...smells like weed."

"It's time! Let's do this, guys," Lady Diamond said.

"Wait! Shaw is not here yet," implored Indi.

"Where did that slacker go?" Abigail asked.

"...picking berries. Hahahaha!" Cran replied.

A shuffling sound is heard and the party turned to see Shawberry covered in berry stains.  
"What? A man has to eat!" He said defensively. "What are we waiting for? Let's go!"

The party started off towards Pyrus' lair, not noticing two ash-covered people following in their wake.

* * *

"I'm too old for this tramping around looking for giant golems," grumbled Abi. "My family hardly sees me at home. My kids hardly recognise my face these past few days."

"Come now, Abi. Seventy isn't that old," Indi said.

"I'm NOT THAT OLD!"

"Bwahaha. I can hear your old bones creaking."

"You little-"

"We're here!" Shawberry pointed to the huge Golem a few meters away from us. Abigail stopped running after Indi and started to cast protective spells on Shaw.

"Are we ready for this?" Lady Diamond inquired.

"I'm not sure," sighed Cranshaw. "I always end up in intensive care after we do raids like this."

"...more vitality," Indi murmured.

"Shaddup."

"I'm ready if you guys are," Shaw said.

"Okay."

"Ready."

"Aye boss!"

"Any time man."

Shaw moved towards Pyrus shouting, "HEY YOU! YOU BIG LUMP OF ROCK! COME FIGHT ME!"

"I always admire how Shaw loves to taunt enemies." Indi casted ward of fire on the whole group.

"He's a pro at it, I must say," Abi agreed grudgingly.

Pyrus, hearing the taunts, called his comrades to help him decimate the annoying people who came to his lair.

"Rooaaarrrr!"

"Cranshaw! I'm dying!" shouted Indi hysterically. A small golem was bashing her with his rocky arms.

"On it!" he replied. "Lady, can you get the golems attention while I hit him from behind?"

"Will do." Lady turned to distract the golems away from the healer and espying two grey-colored spectres. "Hey guys, are you seeing what I'm seeing? I thought spirits don't come this far into lava land."

"What the heck! That's Alvin the DragonSlayer and Conan the Barbarian!" Cranshaw said tersely. "They are drinking the same elixir Indi gave me today! What are they attempting!?"

"They are hitting Pyrus harder, guys," Abigail mentioned. "What are we to do?"

"Indi, cast that special magic called LogOff," Lady said hurriedly.

"Okay. Here goes! LOG OFF!"

Everyone in the party logged off and Pyrus turned his head towards the two unlucky warriors. When the two fainted from fright, Pyrus returned to his lair, breathing heavily.  
After a minute, the LogOff spell wore off and everyone in Solitaire party came back on.

"Indi, do you have another of the witch's brew that you gave Cran? I'll have one if you have a spare," Lady Diamond inquired.

"Of course, Lady."

"Shaw, how many bane scrolls for Pyrus do you have?"

"I have six, Lady."

"Okay, that might be enough. Let's try this again before those two can get up. Start taunting Pyrus again, Shaw."

Abigail and Indi buffed Shawberry again in readiness for the fight. When they saw Alvin the DragonSlayer and Conan the Barbarian start hitting Pyrus from the back, both Lady and Cran drank the Elixir and felt a great boost of energy and strength course through them. Shaw threw the banes at Pyrus and the poor Golem was soon crumpled on the ground.

"Great job!" Abigail rejoiced.

"Yea, good job guys," Indi agreed.

Cran picked up the pouch at the dead Golem's feet. He opened it to see one lion crest, a ring, an orb of frostweaving and some gold coins. He turned to see Alvin and Conan retreating after their failed attempt. A hard glint came into his eyes.

"Let's go home. We all need a bath," Lady said tiredly.

* * *

"I haven't seen Cranshaw for a couple of days," Indira said idly. People were bustling in and out of the breakfast room early in the morning.

"Mm, he says he is hunting chipmunks." Shaw wolfed down a chunk of meat. "Hey Shepman, get me some strawberries from the kitchen, will you?"

"No problem Shaw," Shepman answered. "By the way, I saw Cran wearing his assassin outfit today and was carrying his best daggers. Seems too overpowered for chipmunks."

"Hmmm..." Shaw murmured. "Poor chipmunks."

* * *

Two days of searching for his quarry, Cran finally found Alvin hunting golems. When Alvin the DragonSlayer started on a new golem, Cran drank an elixir he filched from Indi's stash and started hitting it too. Alvin glared at him and went for another golem. Cran followed and also started hitting the other golem. Alvin glared even harder and went for a third golem, and Cran did the same. Then Cran casted Play dead and all the three golems went back to attacking Alvin till he fainted. It went like this for hours, with Alvin always fainting from being beaten by golems. He called his chieftain to help him. Trojan4DPS came with her retinue of ranger, rogue, and druid.

Throughout all this, Cranshaw just nonchalantly waited till even Trojan left Alvin on his own. Alvin the DragonSlayer decided to make up with Cranshaw.

* * *

"TO ARMS! TO ARMS! Alvin the DragonSlayer is at the drawbridge!" shouted the guards at the gate.

"Halt!" Cranshaw demanded.

"What is the meaning of this Cranshaw?" Abigail demanded.

"I bring a new recruit or our clan."

Even the calm and poised Abigail dropped her jaw in surprise.

"Welcome to Clan Solitaire, Alvin."

* * *

**Author's Note **The game Celtic Heroes can be downloaded from the Apple AppStore. It is a free-to-play game. The story above is better understood if the environment is seen within the game.


End file.
